What a Parent or Guardian Can Do to Help Your Child

As the parent or guardian, you are your child's best advocate and the person most concerned about your child's welfare. There are important things that you can do, while your child is away, that will help his or her case. Each of these "suggestions" are based on past experience representing children inside the Juvenile system.

1. Be Organized: Put letters, evaluations, assessments, screenings, and reports from the police, Juvenile Services, courts, lawyers, doctors, mental health professionals and lab results in one folder. This is not the first thing that comes to mind when your child enters the juvenile justice system, but as time goes by, it is critical that you can easily refer back to papers or letters. Keep all of your materials in the binder described above, and store it where you can find it quickly and easily.

2. Be Aware: You won't remember everything, so, as we already touched upon, keep a notebook to record information from meetings or telephone conversations with workers regarding your child's case. Remember to include the date and time, whom you spoke with and their title, important information they gave you, and information for upcoming meetings or calls you will need to make. Something that works wonders when staying on top of a specific matter with many people involved is to keep a "running log" of everyone you have spoken to and the last things that were said in each conversation. This way, when you speak to the same person the next time, you will know exactly what was said, what decisions were discussed or made, and other important information regarding your child's case.

If the person you are speaking to says something interesting about his or her personal life or about someone in his or her family, make a note of it. The next time you speak to them, ask about this situation. They will be extremely impressed that you remembered something so important to them. But more importantly, they will remember you fondly and keep an extra eye on your child. Should you need someone in your corner as your child's matter moves forward, they will likely be someone you can count on for extra support.

3. Be Vigilant: Request everything that is written about your child, and then read everything you can get your hands on. This includes charges, reports, evaluations, assessments, screenings, lab results, court orders, and juvenile justice policies and procedures. Find out the proper procedure for obtaining these documents as you may have to make a written request for copies of some kind of reports.

4. Be Prepared: Help others understand your child by writing down information about him or her, not just the information about how your child got into trouble with the law. Include information about problems your child has had such as previous arrests, suspensions or expulsions from school. poor grades, and drug and alcohol abuse. Family circumstances such as illness, unemployment, death or divorce, languages spoken at home, or cultural or religious background can play a role in determining why your child in in his or her present circumstances.

Later on, we will discuss how our office represents juveniles and how we place so much importance on the child, as a whole person, and not just the parts that got into trouble. This "complete person" approach is quite effective and transfers a child from a simple case number to a real person with a name, history, and complete set of circumstances. You can do this, as well, while your child is away, and should you retain a lawyer to assist you, information about his or her entire life will be most helpful.

In addition to the above, also keep track of:

• a) Mental health diagnosis (if applicable) your child may have such as depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit disorders, as well as any medication they may be taking.
• b) Health or physical problems your child may have such as hearing, visions or diabetes.
• c) Agencies and people you have contacted in the past to seek help for your child.
• d) Strengths, interests, and successes such as being good at art, sports, computers, music, being funny, considerate, and/or able to hold a job
• e) Your child's specific needs. Remember, you are the best person to understand what your child requires. Write everything down so that you can share it with the juvenile justice staff, lawyers, Judges or Masters when the time comes. Your child may benefit from drug treatment, mental health services, mentoring, job training, special education or literary services. Appendix II contains a checklist to help families compile such information about their child.

5. Be Present: Attend and arrive on time for meetings and court hearings. Sometimes this is difficult because of job pressures. Families are often embarrassed to tell an employer that their child has been arrested. Families may also lose wages due to time spent away from work for meetings and court hearings. Remember that your presence is very important. Your child needs you to be present and if you are not, others may assume that you are not interested. If you are not able to attend, write a letter in advance explaining the reasons why you cannot be there and how you still want to be involved with your child's case. While a responsible adult may attend in your absence, they may not make decisions concerning your child.

6. Be Honest: You will not help your child by making statements that are not true.

7. Be Heard: While it may feel awkward or intimidating, you should speak up at meetings to provide additional information or to give input on your child's needs. In Court, you may have to ask your lawyer to inform the Judge or Master that you would like to speak. You may also write letters to the Judge before the hearing to express your concerns or recommendations. If you are extremely uncomfortable speaking in Court or to authority figure, your child's lawyer can always present your words in a written a statement.

8. Be Persistent: The juvenile justice system is overburdened. Like most governmental bodies, there is tremendous "red-tape," awkward procedures, and other factors that make dealing with it difficult. Nonetheless, it is still important that you stay involved. Stay on top of your child's case by making phone calls or writing letters to keep informed. Keep calling or writing until you get an answer. Be sure to keep notes and records of all your conversations and keep copies of all letters that you have sent. Again, your child's lawyer can assist in these matters a great deal.

9. Be respectful: However you may personally feel about your child's situation or the juvenile justice staff involved in his or her case, you should always be respectful. It may be very difficult at times, but it is for your child's benefit. In turn, you can expect to be treated with respect. You can help foster mutual respect by letting Court and Juvenile Services personnel know that you are concerned for the welfare of your child, and that you look forward to working with them to ensure your child's success. Those involved with the system understand that, as a parent or guardian, you are emotionally involved with the process. As long as you do not cross the line into personal attacks or other inappropriate behavior, it is perfectly fine to be tenacious in your approach.

10. Be Good to Yourself: This is a stressful time for you and you need support, too. Ask a family member, trusted friend or advocate to come with you to meetings or to court. They can be a support to you and can also be another set of eyes and ears to see and hear what takes place. If your job is understanding and you feel comfortable making them aware of your situation, this can remove a huge source of pressure. The bottom line is that having a child involved with the juvenile system is no easy task. Even though you are the adult and feel that you should be strong and "never let them see you sweat," everyone needs support at one time or another. The better shape you are in, physically and emotionally, the more effective you can be in assisting your child.

Each of these suggestions are important ways in which you can ensure that your child's experience inside the juvenile system proceeds appropriately. The Court will always be looking for ways to ensure that your child can move towards a successful future, and your involvement in the above ways goes a long way towards making that happen.